This weekend marks the culmination of months of planning and waiting for many contemporary music fans: the highly anticipated Taylor Swift concerts. Many people in our community will attend the concerts with their children, grandchildren, and friends, however, many have missed out. This feeling of missing out on something exciting could ignite a case of FoMO (fear of missing out), which can have real implications on mental health. 

This weekend marks the culmination of months of planning and waiting for many contemporary music fans: the highly anticipated Taylor Swift concerts. Many people in our community will attend the concerts with their children, grandchildren, and friends, however, many have missed out. This feeling of missing out on something exciting could ignite a case of FoMO (fear of missing out), which can have real implications on mental health. 

Fear of missing out (FoMO) is a term from the early 2000s when social media was on the rise. It describes feeling anxious when seeing others having fun on social media and worrying about not being included. This can lead to a strong urge to stay connected via social media, ignite a deep sense of envy, and can impact self-esteem. 

FoMO is a new but recognised area of research, but the evidence is already showing a connection between social media use and anxiety in teenagers.  

With this weekend’s Taylor Swift concerts, HMRI Institute Director, internationally-recognised mental health researcher, and self-proclaimed “Swifty”, Professor Frances Kay-Lambkin says, “FOMO exists because there’s been this big community wrapping around us and wrapped up in it all.” 

Professor Kay-Lambkin is also a mother to two teenage girls and like many other mothers, waited for hours online to try and secure tickets to the concerts to no avail. 

“By the very nature of limited tickets, we are missing out, so there will be some loss and some grief,” she says. “Underpinning FoMO is that fear of social exclusion and wanting to belong and share an experience. And so now that it’s here, millions of us are not able to share in that massive experience and we’re all feeling that loss.”  

So how do you help your kids with the MO? (Missing Out)  

Going to the concert isn’t the only way to experience this fandom.  

“In our house we’re doing things like making friendship bracelets, we had Taylor Swift playing last night and we dressed up in all of her eras and just had a bit of fun.” says Professor Kay-Lambkin. “We’ll have a sleepover with some friends next week (who also didn’t get to go to the concert) and we’ll watch the Era’s movie and make it a real experience.” 

“But really importantly for this weekend; it’s about putting a bit of self-care into something nice for ourselves because there will be a sense of loss, but we just need to put some energy back into ourselves and make sure we’re okay.” 

It’s not just the actual concerts themselves that can ignite these feelings.  

“Going back in on Monday, whether it’s to work or school, we will be encountering people who’ve had this incredible experience and they’re going to want to share it because it’s a massive, wonderful, and exciting experience for them.  So expect there to be some more grumpiness and sulkiness as that happens as well.” 

To help your children manage these feelings, Professor Kay-Lambkin suggests 

1. Create an Alternative Event 

• Host a Taylor Themed Party: Recreate the concert atmosphere at home. Dress up in the Era’s style, play some Swifty hits, and maybe even watch past concert footage or the many documentaries available. It’s a way to celebrate the artist and the community spirit without being at the actual event. 

• Invite Friends Over: Include friends who are also experiencing FOMO or even those who might not be fans but want to enjoy the company and fun. Making it a group activity can greatly diminish feelings of missing out. 

2. Invest in Self-Care 

• Plan a Special Activity: Use the weekend for self-care activities that make you and your family feel pampered and special. Whether it’s a spa day at home, a movie marathon with your favourite snacks, or a day out in nature, choose activities that help recharge and uplift your spirits.  

• Do Something Out of the Ordinary: Use the money saved from ticket expenses on something you wouldn’t normally do. It could be a short local trip, a fancy dinner, or a unique experience (like an escape room or pottery class). Making unique memories can replace the sense of loss with new, joyful experiences. 

3. Express and Share Your Feelings 

• Creative Expression: Encourage your family to express their feelings about missing out through creative means such as drawing, writing songs, or crafting. Sharing these creations with each other or online can provide a sense of belonging and understanding.  

• Talk About It: Have open conversations with your kids about the feelings of FOMO. Discussing the emotions openly can help validate them and also provide a pathway to finding joy in the situation you’re in. 

4. Cultivate a Sense of Gratitude 

• Gratitude List: Make a list of things you’re grateful for, focusing on the positive aspects of your current situation. This can shift the focus from what you’re missing out on to what you have that brings you joy and satisfaction.  

• Community Involvement: Engage in community or charity work as a family. Helping others can foster feelings of connection and fulfillment, reducing the sting of FOMO and replacing it with a sense of purpose and community spirit. 

It’s okay to feel jealous and angry, and to feel the “I want to be there”. That’s normal human behaviour, and that’s ok too… But also use those feelings as a signal to be a little bit kind to ourselves.